🎙️ Welcome to “Shut Up Month” on 1001 Songs That Make You Want To Die 🎙️ This July, we’re diving headfirst into songs that told the world to pipe down — whether they meant it romantically, rebelliously, or just...

Becky G: "Shower" ★☆☆☆☆ By Someone Who’s Been Held Hostage in a Sephora for 36 HoursThere are songs that change lives. There are songs that move culture. And then there is “Shower” by Becky G—a song that boldly as...

Silentó – “Watch Me (Whip / Nae Nae)” TurnUp Records / Capitol – 2015 1.6By the time Silentó commands us to “watch me whip,” a full seven seconds into the track, you already know you’ve boarded a train boun...

Kelly Osbourne: “Papa Don’t Preach” Epic Records, 2002 Pitchfork Rating: 3.7In a move that can only be described as “aggressively Y2K,” Kelly Osbourne—daughter of Ozzy, wearer of neon hair, and survivor of ...

Matchbox Twenty – "Unwell" Atlantic; 2003 3.2By: Dax Mumberson, Pitchfork ContributorThere are songs that define an era, and then there’s “Unwell” by Matchbox Twenty—a song that limply gestured at de...

Divinyls – “I Touch Myself” (1990) ★ ★ ★ ★ ☆ Genre: Sexy Pop-Rock with a Side of Subtle ShoutingIf you’ve ever wanted to tell the entire world you’re into yourself—like, really into yourself—but with an A...

Chamillionaire – “Ridin’” [feat. Krayzie Bone] Universal; 2006 6.4 (but only if you're in a Dodge Charger with illegal tints)“Ridin’” is the rare kind of song that makes you feel both like a criminal and a ...

Flo Rida – “In the Ayer” [feat. will.i.am] Atlantic; 2008 2.1If you’ve ever stared into a lava lamp and thought, “What if this could somehow be a song?”—well, congrats, your dream was made flesh in...

Luke Bryan – “That’s My Kind of Night” ⭐️ 1.9 / 10 Label: Cliché Hat Records, a Division of Bud Light SoundsIf a monster truck rally had sex with a Bass Pro Shops flyer during an Axe Body Spray commercial, the bab...

Fergie – “Fergalicious” ⭐️ 2.1 / 10 Label: A Delicious Flop Pastry RecordsAh yes, “Fergalicious” – the 2006 cultural artifact that dared to ask: what if a spelling bee had a sugar crash during a rave at Claire...

Scandal’us – Me, Myself & I (2001) ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ (Pitchfork, 10.0)In an era bloated with faux-indie self-seriousness and turn-of-the-millennium testosterone-pop, Me, Myself & I arrived like...

Oh, of course Charli XCX is definitely just recycling that ultra-sophisticated, high-brow techno pop from the early 2000s—you know, the era of iconic lyrical masterpieces like "My Humps" and "Blue (Da Ba Dee)." She's ...

Squidward is a grumpy, artistic octopus from SpongeBob SquarePants, known for his long, droopy nose that often reflects his mood and expressions. His nose is frequently the punchline of jokes—getting caught in doors, inflated, or mista...

No, "Miracles" by Insane Clown Posse (ICP) is not intended as a joke. Despite its viral reception and widespread mockery—particularly the line "Fucking magnets, how do they work?"—the song was created with sincerity. ICP aimed to express genuin...

*“Short People” by Randy Newman is a snarky, satirical jab masquerading as a pop song, delivering a wildly exaggerated roast of vertically-challenged folks with lines so ludicrous they border on cartoon villainy. With its bouncing piano and upb...

In this unsettling reimagining, the smooth-talking, swagger-filled narrator isn’t here to party… he’s luring kids with charm, games, and magic tricks under the guise of fun. He struts through neighborhoods with a twisted grin, tossing candy, wh...

I wanna nap and rock all night! (And shuffle every day!) I wanna nap and rock all night! (Then golf and Matlock play!)

Imagine you are inside a sentient music store, where time doesn’t move forward but instead loops in soft-focus montages of bittersweet almost-memories. Ronan Keating, a man who simultaneously exists inside and outside the conce...

Imagine you’re standing in a hallway that exists outside of time, where every door leads to a different parallel universe of past relationships—but only the ones where the emotional debris still lingers like a half-written ...

The song basically says, “Life is trash sometimes, but don’t worry, we’re going to spiritually parkour our way to happiness.”

"Lads from the City" (to the tune of Boys From the Bush)Verse 1:We rolled up late in a four-wheel drive,GPS lost, barely made it alive.Tried to buy a latte, but the town was dry,Now we’re stuck in...

Hark! The air be thick with sultry heat,And lo, mine garments do betray mine flesh!Wouldst thou not bid me cast them off anon,Lest I dost swelter in this fiery clime?Verily, the warmth doth set mine blood afire,A tempest ...

"Just a Friend" by Biz Markie is a humorous and heartfelt hip-hop track about unrequited love and betrayal. The song tells the story of Biz falling for a girl who insists that another guy in her life is "just a friend." Despite his hop...

"It's just another manic MondayI wish it was Sunday'Cause that's my fun dayMy I-don't-have-to-run dayIt's just another manic Monday"Here’s a lyrically improved version while keeping the same theme and melody:

The Shark Incident.......that is all we can say here.